Hey sis, remember that advice they use to give us when we
were younger? 'Don’t marry a guy for money, suffer with a guy and he will
treasure you all his life', you remember now? Good! We heard it drummed into our ears, we watched
it in movies, but back to reality, we all dream of a knight in shining armor
falling in love with us and taking away whatever trouble we have at that
moment. But then charming princes aren't poor and hustling right? They are
usually rich with great influence.
What we want versus what the society want us to want, but is
the Knight in charming prince story true? Nope, it is a fairy tale, far from
reality. There is no automatic happily ever after, being happy takes a lot of
work, growing and pruning, stumbling and rising, erring and forgiving, but
fairy tales won't tell such, in fairy tales, things must be perfect.
But is it true that when you suffer with a man he will respect you for the rest of his life? Well, the answer is a little complicated, so I will say 'yes and no'.
There is a common saying that when a man is poor, he will be
behaving like another person, let him have some little money and you will see
his real nature. While it is true that a man will respect and admire a woman
who stood by him when he has nothing, it is not a guarantee that he will do
right by the woman for the rest of his life. Love, admiration and respect are
all different things and we may get into trouble when we mix them up. You can
respect and admire someone without loving him, but no matter your own recipe
for 'cooking' a happy marriage, love must be the very core, or what you will
have may be a partnership of some sort not a real marriage.
Thinking a man will treat you right and not cheat on you
because you suffered with him is like thinking your husband will not cheat on
you because he is a pastor, duhh! Are you kidding me? A cheater will always
cheat and it have nothing to do with whether you stood by him or not, he will
cheat because he is a cheater, cheating is in his nature, his respect for you and
in appreciating all you have gone through with him, he may try to keep it away
from you.
So you also think he won't bring another woman home because
you once sold your jewelries and clothes to finance him? Are you kidding? If he
will bring another woman home, he will do it, what you have done is in the
past, and to be fair to him, haven't you enjoyed a good part of your labour
since he became successful?
My point is, stop trying to buy or labour your way into a
happy marriage, blessed is the woman without expectations for she will not be
disappointed'. Some woman somewhere is saying ‘after all I have done for you’
right now, please don’t join the statistic. Don't empty yourself for a man
simply because you want to buy his respect. Some women stopped living, they
stopped enjoying life, they invested their entire life into a man hoping for a
happy ending only to discover the man they married isn't who they think he is,
what they have left is regret of how great their life would have been if they
had loved themselves like they loved the man.
See darl, it is not a crime to fall in love with a rich guy.
So he is already made before you met him? All good, don't allow anyone make you
feel like you are a gold digger. The most important thing is not to allow the
money control you, wealth should not be the reason you want a relationship, but
if you find love that comes with wealth, I am so happy for you sis.
As you are doing all you can to make the man in your life a success, don't
leave yourself behind, as you are grooming him, groom yourself too, it is not
selfishness to do good things for yourself, it is loving your neighbor AS
yourself.
What matters is to marry a good man, a man that fears and
honors God, a good man will do right by you and it won't matter how successful
he was when you met him. A good man will treat you right, not because you stood
by him when he was hustling but because he is a good man and good men treat
their women right.
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