I Can remember one example my intro tech teacher gave us to explain friction back then in junior high, he asked us to rub our palms together then asked us to describe what we observed, wanna try that now and see the result? Bet you will notice the heat, then if you palms have some moist, there will be small-particle-like substance. What is the point of my illustration you may be wondering, we people are like the two palms, it is a popular saying that no man is an island, so it will be proper to say no one can survive Alone, we all need to relate and deal with other people, however, with this dealing comes the heat, the disagreement. Though disagreements will always occur, there are things we can do to reduce the frequency and nip them in the board as soon as they occur.
1. Openness: Some people are like computers, you have to crack their codes to really understand them (not sure i got those terms right LOL), i mean, you have to hack their brain to know whats on their mind. How open we are majorly depends on our individual temperament and orientation.
For a born extrovert, knowing him, what he want aren't hard, though we all have that part of us we do not want to let out, but how soon and easy it is to open up may be determined by individual temperament. For example, a melancholic person Is very reserved and quite, trusting people is not easy too and such people often watch what they say or do.
However, it is important that we all know where we fall, when you have an understanding of your personality, making necessary adjustments won't be too difficult. Being open is not something we may do, it is something we must do if there will be tranquility. When you are open, you put a light on you, the people you are dealing with have light on their part thereby stumble less. Being open takes time, and it is a process, but make sure you are making some efforts to be open.
2. Don't be a mind reader: I know we love the feel of divinity and brilliance that goes with being able to decode the mind of other people, but believe me, such habit only lead to misunderstanding, the type that influence your emotion or decision.
When you try to read the mind if people, you tend to make conclusion on their personality and intentions based on what you read, and most of the time, these assumptions are wrong and unfair on the person. Yes, non-verbal cue is important in communication, but communication Is not all about non-verbal cues. So stop trying to hack other people's mind, rather, let them lead you into their world, then you can make you summations from what you see there.
3. Learn to accept people for who they are: This is not a fairy tale or a tellenovella, this is the real world, here, people are real, not perfect, you will never find a perfect person, but you will find a person who fits you perfectly, trying to change people or making them fit into the character in your head is one big step to constant disagreement. Let people enjoy being with and around you, it promotes peace and harmony.
4. Learn to overlook some things: Because people are not perfect, people can't do things perfectly too. So learn to overlook some faults and some mistakes people make. You know what we call that person who complains at everything people do? A nag. Lesser complaints, lesser disagreements and lesser misunderstanding too, because remember, misunderstandings begin from the heart.
5. Don't use an act to judge the heart: it is true the out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks, but remember we are human, we make mistakes, sometimes we say what we do not mean, there are times we do what we do not believe in. I believe in coincidences, a times, situations play tricks on us and unplanned things happens. Remember misunderstanding and disagreement starts from the mind, if you have concluded that someone doesn't really love you because of an act, there is no way you won't have disagreement cause when they are showing you love, you are reading another meaning to their action cause you've concluded on them already. By the witnesses of two or three, a truth shall be established, if that's truely who they are, be sure they will do it again and again, but don't make hasty judgement.
6. Make your expectations known: what do you want in that relationship or friendship? what are your goals, what are you looking forward to? Don't assume the other person will know cause they can't. Some relationships are just existing, all in the name of having someone to call 'mine', they have had misunderstanding to the point of 'embarassment' , they no longer disagree, but because they are tired of constant friction they have unconsciously decided to let each other be.
Unmet desires and aspirations can lead to frustration and anger, and those close to us are the worst hit, and where frustration and anger resides, there bickering and quarreling pitch a tent.
I Really hope you've learnt something, till next time... Au revoir. Don't forget to drop your comments and questions.
0 coment�rios:
Post a Comment
Don't leave without dropping your thoughts, we are eager to hear from you