Do you also know that the
person you are close to will suffer from your weaknesses more than other
people? Have you looked at a man, maybe a military head of state and the only
way you could describe him was - strong, determined and intelligent only for his
wife or child to tell you he is so soft hearted he can cry over a sick puppy?
The closer you are to a person, the more you will see and enjoy their strength
and endure their weaknesses.
There will always be reasons to
disagree in relationships, there will be misunderstandings, they can only be
reduced. He will do thing you don't like and she will displease you too, it's
one of the 'perks' of having someone in your life. you will have to forgive a
lots of things and move on. But it is in the aspect of forgiving and moving on
that we often get stuck. We often ask, 'why should I forgive him when i can
always hit him back?' Payback is always sweet and we love it. So he did
something that pissed you off and you in turn intentionally did something to
piss him off too. 'Let him experience it and know how it feels.' Funny enough,
some people will even spend days, weeks, even months to plan revenge...huh?
Here are some reasons you should quit seeking for revenge.
1. It’s an act of
immaturity: Yes, it shows you are not matured enough.
Mind you, maturity is not a matter f age, maturity speaks of quality, and not
quantity as some will want us to believe. A mature person will confront issues
and address them head on. A matured person will talk things over and move on.
So you think you are matured, where is the fruit of your maturity. Hitting back
at an offender is a game we enjoyed as kids. Kids naturally have shallow
understanding of their emotions, kids don't know how to pour out their mind; deep
talks? Not for kids. So if you are not a kid, why are you behaving like one?
2. You create
bitterness/anger: He offended you and he begged you, he said
'sorry', he apologized and you said you've forgiven, he asked again and you
said it no longer matters because you have moved on, you even encouraged him to
forget about it. But then, after a little time, you made a calculated effort to
hit him back, why? You wanted him to also feel the pain you felt, how on earth
will you apologize for that?
3. It kills trust: We all want to b with someone we can
trust, not someone who will say the same thing and do another. i have heard
stories of men who left their own house after offending their wife. Why? The
man did something wrong, he apologized profusely for it, he even informed
people close to the woman to apologize on his behalf. The woman accepted the
apologies and even embraced the husband, but deep down, the man was still
restless, why? Because she is so good at planning and executing revenge; so
instead of living in the house restless with zero peace of mind, the man left.
This is the same situation you are putting your partner in each time you
execute revenge even after you said you have forgiven. He/she finds it
difficult believing you have forgiven leading to fear of what will come.
4. You waste time: Except you plan to court or date forever,
time is important in your relationship. The time that should have been used for
productive things will be used to plan revenge and hit back. You were supposed
to get to know her better, to understand her person, but instead, you are busy
studying her to know the best time to revenge and kick her ass.
You know why we revenge? Ego!
Just ego. There is a need to master it before it kills your relationship.
It's #Tgif, I wish you a
blissful weekend. Till next time when we talk again. Ciao! Kiss kiss
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