who hasn't said sorry before? Let me see your hands... One...two... None, thought so too. I didn't say who like saying sorry, I know apologising may not be one of your auto replies, but we are human, we all tend to offend people, so coming down from our high horse to apologize when we err actually makes us more human than animals.
But our mistake is that often time, we fall into thr error of believing just saying "I am sorry" will fix all situations, we've been taught saying "sorry" can mend fences, heal the broken hearted and all that, but have you ever asked "how?"
Take for instance parents whose son just hit their car against a wall despite warnings not to take the car out, let's count the damages, one, the parents must have been frightened to hear their son just had a crash, two, the car will cost some money to fix, three, the boy disobeyed their order, four, their trust has been broken. Now, of all that has been listed above, the last two happens to be the most difficult to fix, why? They have to do with the parents emotion and ego.
Should the boy say sorry? Oh yes, he should go on the floor and roll and beg, and as parents, they will have to forgive their son right? There is an adage in yoruba that says "we do not chase a bad child to a lion to devour", so the parents must forgive.
But will "I am sorry" fix the trust that has been broken?
Another example, a man just hit his wife, her body is on fire with pain, yea, that can be fixed, in fact, the husband can tend her and restore her back to health. But here are the questions, will "I am sorry" fix the emotional trauma she is going through on the inside? The man was suppose to be her protector, but now, he just acted as the predator, awwww! Such a disappointment! Another thing, do you know what happens to a woman when she is hit by someone? She put herself on the defensive against them, she is afraid and doesn't want to be alone with them, speak her mind?no way. I Can remember some years back, was talking with some male folks, at different times of course, can't remember what I said, though we were joking, they raised their hand to hit me, the mood wasn't serious, they were probably joking, but from that time, I became careful around them and it was a reflex action, today, I know they would have forgotten, but I didn't, i wasn't resentful, only afraid.
So for a woman to be assaulted by a man she is living with is more than skin deep. What do you think will happen to her self esteem? Her dignity and pride?
Should we say sorry when we erred? Yes, definitely, but "I am sorry" should be the beginning of our "atonement" and not the end of it. When we hurt someone's emotion, we shouldn't just say our well rehearsed "sorry" and start acting like nothing happened. But when we say sorry, and we proof it, we show we are really remorseful.
Women are more emotional than men, so when a woman is offended emotionally, she wants to express her feelings, she wants to talk without feeling she is nagging. But then, trust male ego, lotta men will just wave the matter aside and move on, yea, you are moving on but leaving her behind, those things you left untended will come back to hunt you, but when it happens you won't be able to trace it root.
After saying "I am sorry", next thing should be proving how sorry you are. It is the time to be nicer than you were, prop things up a lil, inconvenience yourself for them. Some people actually love their friends, spouse, siblings etc offending them, you know why? Because they receive kingly or queenly treatment at such time. Is that pretending? Nay, you know how we are extra careful with the way we treat sick people? Sometimes we wish we can pee for them, we are extra nice and extra careful, why? To nuture them back to health, then when we are sure they are back to on their feet, we return to status quo. But then, if you took care of someone when they were sick, you will do anything to make sure they do not fall sick right? Believe me, am even sure you know, a sick person is worse compared with an emotionally sick person.
For questions or enquiries, just drop a messsage in my inbox: Folks4luv08@gmail.com or use the comment box below. Ur comments are precious, will love to read your opinion.
Cheers!
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