Some years ago, i wanted to get into the University so badly, I mean, what is the next thing to do after leaving the secondary school? Some people may have many options o, but to me ehn, going to a uni was the ultimate, the best thing at that moment. But then, life happened and it really hit me so so hard, I had my O’level result and I had a good score in JAMB, but no admission.
If you have been in that type of situation, you will understand what I went through, to make matter worst, it was not just a onetime failure at getting what I wanted o, but let me keep the details to myself *winks*.
To the crux of the gist, right then when I was battling with JAMB Post-JAMB and other admission wahala, depression and loneliness set in, I used to tell God I would be happy if he can make way for me to get into a university, I mean, I believed I would be, to me, I was this sad lonely girl because I couldn't get what I wanted, so I actually believed getting it would turn my life around and make me a happy person.
Fast forward to a couple of years later, I got admission, I got the course I wanted but I had completely forgotten my earlier resolution to be happy once I am in a university. One night during my second year in school, I was trekking home when I suddenly remembered my prayers of ‘old’, then a question dropped in my heart, ‘are you happy now’? Right there, a wave of sadness swept across my heart, leaving me weak and tired. I was sad because I knew the answer to that question.
Hell NO! I wasn’t happy, far from it, the idea of ‘i will be happy when I get what I want’ is a fairy tale, something we read in books or watch in movies, for in this our real world, happiness doesn’t come by getting what you want, at least, a lasting happiness. You know how you can be happy? Choosing to be happy! But it is not that simple.
You see, what you want and desire is not the reason you are not happy, it is just an excuse, I bet you know there is a whole world of difference between ‘reason’ and ‘excuse’. Human needs and wants are insatiable; you may think you will be happy when you get something? But you wait till get it and watch more important needs come up immediately, stealing your happiness and peace of mind if you allow them.
Let me be practical, you look around and you see that most of your friends are married so you concluded you will be happy when you are married, then after a while, gbam! It happened, you are now a Mrs. something, are you now happy? Wait! You need to make your home work, have kids, raise them, and then you need to deal with in-laws, oh! Joggling marriage and your career is now so hectic you wish you can get a better job. On and on like that, as you settle some needs, more needs arise, and before you know it, your kids are grown to see a sad woman you have become.
One sad thing you will realize too late when you tie your happiness to things is that life will pass you by, not just that, great opportunities will be missed. Opportunities to be a better person, opportunities to grow and take advantage of your situation, all will be lost because you made yourself a one-way road, ‘it’s either I get this, or I am miserable’.
Do you know that some people also want the same thing you want yet they are living a happy life? Why? Because somehow, they decided to be happy even with the little they have.
So one quick but long step to be happy: CHOICE! You need to decide that getting a job, a wife, a husband, a car, a house, children and other things won’t determine the quality of your happiness.
Believe me, it will be hard, hard because sometimes you will face disappointment and you will be deeply sad, but at the end, you will be the best for it, you would have taught your heart to be happy no matter what.
Can you still be happy even when things are not going well? Yes, you can be. Do you believe it?
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